I have one job every year that has nothing to do with the content I teach. That job is building positive relationships with each and every one of my students. The relationship a teacher has with his or her students is one of the most important (maybe even THE most important) factor in student achievement. You’ve heard it said time and time again. Students cannot learn from someone they do not trust. It helps if they even like you a little bit. So, how can we build solid relationships with the kids in our classrooms?
Take An Interest
At the beginning of every school year, we play countless getting-to-know you games and do bunches of ice breaker activities that help all of us understand what makes each one of us tick. I try to sit down with my kids, especially at the beginning of the school year, maybe at recess, and just talk to them. They tell me about their families, who their best friend is, their favorite games, movies, and tv shows, and their pets. Always the pets.
When I take an interest, my students are that much more likely to come into the classroom on a daily basis ready to share what is going on in their world – the good and the bad. This keeps me aware of any red flags that I need to refer or handle on my own. It also helps me to know more about my students and their interests and why they are particularly cheerful that morning or having a rough week. More so, it shows my students that I care about who they are.
Tell Them Who You Are
When I say, “tell them who you are,” obviously I am speaking about so much more than simply, “Hello there, I’m Miss Smith.” Telling your students who you are goes for both your words and your actions.
Share the parts of your life that you are comfortable sharing. Talk about your family, your pets, what you do for fun. I share big life events with my kids. They knew when I struggled with buying a house in a seller’s market and celebrated with me when I finally had an offer accepted. They cried with me when my Grandfather passed away. They beg for me to tell the story of when my niece was born and how I literally sprinted to the nursery to see her once my sister came out of surgery. They want to hear that one over and over again and laugh every single time.
My kids know that I am ridiculously silly. I sing songs that I make up on the fly just about every day. Then there is the fact that I love a good cheesy joke. I also pull faces like no one else on Earth. So far, my face has not frozen that way.
My kids also know that I care deeply about each and every one of them. I tell them all the time, but I also show them. I show them when I remember that their new glasses were bothering them the day before or commiserate with them when their team lost the game over the weekend.
Let Them See That You Are Human
Human beings make mistakes. To piggy back on telling your students who you are, I believe it is vital to show your students that you are not some supernatural being that can do no wrong. It’s okay to let your students know you make mistakes. We laugh over some of the silly spelling and writing mistakes I’ve made in my classroom.
Additionally, not only is okay to apologize to students when you are in the wrong, it’s ethically the right thing to do. I’m having a bad day? It’s not my kids’ fault. So if I snap at someone, I will always apologize. If I accuse someone of something that absolutely did not do, I always apologize. Not only is this showing my humanity and humility, but it’s modeling for my students what we should all do when we mess up. We take responsibility for our actions and we make amends.
Build Classroom Community & Self-Esteem
Earlier this year, I posted about how we build community with our daily class motto. This is one more piece to building positive student relationships. Want a free editable class motto to use in your own classroom? Sign up below!
I will see you again (virtually!) soon!
Deedee
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